Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Where to begin with this one.  I have a daughter who is 11 and has ADHD.  Raising her, to say the least, is very taxing.  Things have spiraled so out of control with her that I daily, DREAD waking up.  I feel like I've lost her.  I miss my little Taylor, my Tada Bug.  She is impossible to reward or discipline.  She doesn't care about anything or anyone besides herself.  It's killing me here.  She lies, steals, destroys property, fights, screams, slams doors and overall is impossible to live with.  She'll lie when the truth is easier.  She'll steal because she gets what she wants.  She does whatever it is she wants on a whim because no on e is the boss of her.  The stress I have with her is literally killing me.  I've had her on medication, and off medication.  I've had her in a social group called STRIDE, I've had her in therapy at home and at an office.  I've had her tested, I've had training on how to deal with an ADHD child.  I feel very alone and at an end here.  I hate punishing her, for one it accomplishes absolutely nothing, but I can't reward her because of the lying, stealing...etc: that goes on.  I've tried so many techniques with positive reinforcement, letting things be an award not a punishment.  I've tried to be strict, I've given her a foot and she takes a football field.  I've tried school, friends, activities even church.  NOTHING helps.  Her entire focus is going to my Aunt's where she tells me that she is spoiled there, non of her siblings are there so no one can bother her or tell her what to do.  Everything is handed to her and nothing is expected from her.  Reports from her is she's fine, she acts well she hardly argues.  Even now, worrying about what she'll do tomorrow is eating at me already.  What fights we'll get in, or how innocent and nice she'll act.  I feel like "act" is the entire basis for her living.  She acts fine, she acts nice but at home...she's like, words won't even come to me at this point.  If anyone has advice, I'd sure love it, I'm lost out here with no light and it's very dark.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Good things, Good things!

I have almost been working out for a month, on the 28th.  Plus my calorie counting.  I have upped my water intake.  At the gym I do cardio, usually 30 mins. on the treadmill at different inclines, and the bike about 15 mins. right now on and off.  I lift every time too.  One day arms, one day legs.  I look forward to going to the gym, and when I get home from school I put on my gym clothes so it is way easier to go.  When I am at the gym I usually drink about 48 oz of water.  I'm feeling great, full of energy and I sleep well.  My muscles hurt and my feet ache and I love it all!!!

I'm strangely grateful that I got the boost to loose weight.  I am committed more than ever and I think it is because I am doing it for me, not for anyone else.  :)